Trying to be an expert

Tonight I was trying to impress a friend of mine, my knowledge of the pregnancy and what not. So I started to tell him about how Allison is feeling, what Topher is doing, and that Allison is 50% effaced, just after I said that he replies, "Thanks for the update on her cervix"... Who knew?!?! I just thought it was normal to talk about effacing, dilating and what not, guess I should have figured out what it was I was actually talking about before blurting it out.

So I quickly changed the subject from the cervix, to some of the crazy dreams I have of Topher. Starting a couple weeks ago I have had a dream just about every night of the little guy, and some of them more normal than others, but you wouldn't be reading this if they are normal dreams, so here ya go...

Dream #1 (I woke up worried with cold sweats)

So it's not overly long, but he came out looking like a turd... I later found the pic below, and realized it wasn't actually a turd, but a Gorilla! Maybe this dream is due to all the monkeys in his nursery?!?

Dream #2

Related to the first, but in a totally different way... So in the dream Topher is a couple weeks old, Allison has gone to work and I am left in charge (yep, in charge!!!). Since there are no women around I feel it appropriate that Toph and I have some male bonding time, burping, farting, scratching, you know man stuff. So he and I are just chillin, hangin out, and I realize that Topher doesn't have his diaper on. No big deal, right? Nope... I soon learn that as I move Toph from one spot in the room to another that he is leaving little poop spots everywhere!

(Disclaimer: I apologize if my dreams are any ones reality. I realize that there are some that might have gorilla looking babies, or others who make the mistake and leave their husbands in charge, and things happen. This is not meant to make fun, or insult... They are just dreams, I guess I'll just have to wait to see if these dreams become reality. LOL)